Saturday, September 28, 2013

The Ending of September

I snapped this pic a few days ago as I was leaving the camper. I've barely lifted blue watering can to their blossoms all summer. The rain has taken care of it for me ( and my neighbor Hazel a few times) and this plant has thrived, unlike the wooden sign. Soft orange petals manage to be restored after pounding rains, rocking winds or near- freezing nights. 

September has been a roller coaster month. It started on a high note as hubby and I spent two days in Portland with our sons and families, then celebrated Lily's third birthday here at the camper. 

The weeks in between were filled with ups and downs. The ups consisted of Lily smiles, a visit from Pam, a lovely belated birthday gift from Vicky, good books, and a new writing course (so far that's up:).
The downs were dark nights or lonely days here at the camper when my thoughts turn to home. 

September ended on a high note as I had an amazing opportunity to go with my girls to Portland yesterday to hear Temple Grandin speak. There were two other engaging speakers as well. The conference was  both reaffirming and overwhelming. 

We shared on the drive home what the main point for each of us was throughout the day. For me , across the board, was the thought that you can not shelter your autistic child from the world but the key is to push, stretch and expect something from her beyond where she is now. Wisdom is needed to sense how much and what that looks like for your child.

As much as I want to draw Lily under my grandmother wings ( and I know her mom does too), and keep her there, I must let go as she takes a tiny step into an hour of mainstream day care and only 15 minutes of that hour looked like success to us. We can say only 15 minutes with discouragement or "yay, Lily, a good 15 minutes."

God is treating me the same way these days, pushing, stretching, expecting something more out of me. He won't allow me to retreat to my comfort zone but constantly challenges me to "move to the other side of prayer" with thanksgiving. Ann Voskamps 
I stand and cry for much of the time then somehow make it to the other side of tears and despair to choose gratitude. 
Everyday I am learning that I have much to learn. 

As September leaves, I celebrate moving into a month of color and crispness and more change, praying for grace and wisdom and eyes to see all the blessings of my life, and strength and courage to celebrate my 15 minutes of success.


Nancy said...

Gratitude.....getting to the other side of pain where we can find the sometimes elusive gift of gratitude.....Your month of September certainly sounds like a roller coaster ride but it seems that is God's ride of choice when as you say He is "stretching and moving us out of our comfort zone".....I am very thankful for the 15 minutes for Lily and pray it will stretch into hours....
I am praying for you dear friend...

Flyfree said...