Happy Easter

Happy Easter from Hubby & Me

Good Friday

I took this photo a few weeks ago as Lily and I took our walk through the cemetery. I wondered who these people were, about their families, their lives. Isn't it strange how we live each day like we have hundreds more, never-ending? I am reminded today that life is brief, fragile and worth treasuring. 

Learning Curve

It hit me as I was driving down the highway this afternoon how different my life is these days.  Here I am driving in traffic without a second thought, taking a quick trip to BAM, standing in a long line at the grocery store, and texting the girls  that I am on my way home plus enjoying spring-like temperatures in March. 

Six months ago I kept telling Hubby that life was going to change. I just had a feeling. Life has semi-settled  

into a routine yet change is on the horizon once again. 

I am learning to trust God with each day and look for silver linings in every cloud. Notice the word- learning. This is a work in process and so am I.

Breaking is Part of the Process

Letter to a Friend

Dearest Kelly,

You truly carry the heart of an intercessor and now it is broken. God is close to the broken hearted. I am familiar with all of your questions for I have walked in those deep waters myself over the past six months. I have wondered if I was wrong all of my days about the Word of God. I know those thoughts and the tearing in your soul.

Here is what I've come to know this far. Jesus blows holes in our theology, no matter how good it is. And The word of God is a living breathing entity, not black and white words like any other. This gives Jesus the right to trump His word. He is sovereign. It doesn't mean that he isn't true to His promises. It simply means that His promises are multi-faceted and eternal. They are not earth bound. Therefore, your prayers continue in ways we cannot see. Death is swallowed up in victory. Cathy stands in victory today - alive.

Nancy called this morning. God gave her Hebrews 12 and an Isaiah scripture and told her not to attribute this to anything else but Him for there is no greater. He has a plan. I know this makes it difficult to walk in what we think of as faith, but Jesus is the completer of our faith just as he is the author of it. Anything man made will fall.

I pray the Comforter will come close to you, Kelly and whisper in your ear. Jesus takes the preeminence, even in this. The Goliath spirit is falling, not as we thought, but around the world through  what our eyes see as tragedy. God is shaking us by the very hand of the enemy and we are falling into the everlasting arms.

This is the hard Eucharisteo.

Jesus is all and in all and in Him all things hold together. 

I pray He sends out His light and truth to you today and that your faith will rise stronger than ever on the foundation of who He is.

Love, Paula

A Praying Day

Today will be a day for prayer. These are the words I awoke to this morning. I lay in bed praying over my family, one by one, then my prayer sisters and outward from there.

I prayed as I showered, as I cut vegetables for a soup, as I walked up the stairs to retrieve Lily's paci for the second time, as I folded towels…

Lily napping, the house quiet, me settled into the recliner, Bible in lap.

"Lord, you know we are only human in this earthly home and you are God. We don't have your eyes to see except when you afford us glimpses eternal. Why? I don't understand."

I waited, my thoughts turning to the young woman who went home to heaven too soon in our earthbound eyes. Shock waves rippled through friends who were earnestly praying for a miracle and believing for the beginning of a miracle season after so many hard things.

Isaiah 55,whispered within.
I turned to one of my favorite books in the Scripture. I read verse by verse, resting on verse 9
.

"As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts."

There is so much suffering, Lord and why take the ones whose hearts are toward making a difference for your kingdom? I don't understand. Why allow this earth to continue?

Backing up a verse, "My thoughts are not your thoughts…"

I live here too, with my people.

"For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His love for those who fear Him" Psalm 103:12

I know it would only take a touch from his hand, a whisper of His breath upon my heart and my sight would be altered with understanding. Yet He has chosen to wait, to be quiet in His love for this day. A day for prayer, a day for faith not sight.

Weekend at the Movies

I spent the weekend recovering from the flu so I read and watched movies. My granddaughter picked the first night's movie, "The Life of Pi." Surprisingly I loved it. Favorite quote: "I suppose in the end, the whole of life becomes an act of letting go…"

 Les Miserables was a mutual pick on Sunday. What can I say? Epic, amazing, and I fell in love with Hugh Jackman all over again. Anne Hathaway deserved that Oscar! Favorite quote : "To love another person is to see the face of God."

After months of sitting on my shelf, I pulled out Susannah Conway's first book (written with two other women) and read several chapters. Its all about taking Polaroid photos. I am using my daughter's polaroid to experiment with. If you are thinking of purchasing a Polaroid, there is a chapter dedicated to the various kinds and films etc. I played with it a little but ran out of energy quickly.

Throw in gingerale and saltines and there you have it.

Thoughts of Home on a Sunday

 

Providence

God has blessed me immensely over the past six months with a handful of books, which have been timely, encouraging and challenging. I have share those here several times and will do so again.

I recently finished reading Jennie Allen's "Anything." I will share more from her book later as I have several pages dog-eared to go back and read. Several times throughout her book, Jennie refers to Katie's blog, the author of Kisses from Katie.

Kisses from Katie is my book in hand. I am nearly finished reading it and I have been drawn into the lives of Katie and her children. The love of Jesus flows through her words. I have been reminded of the power of love and not a generic love, but an intense Father God's love for each human being. He is moved by the one. When she talks about the many children who need someone to wrap her arms around them and kiss them, I think of my precious Lily and all the kisses I lavish on her little cheeks and my heart aches for a child without such love.

While composing yesterday's blogpost, I went on a search through my past posts to find when I first started writing about Eucharisteo. I couldn't find it but I happened on a post I wrote a year ago about a dream I'd had. I remember the dream so clearly. I woke up praying for a specific woman and children in Uganda. But after a year, those things fade into the background.

 Until God pulls them front and center again.

 Guess where Katie and her kids live? I bet you guessed. Yep. Uganda. I was stunned and excited that I may have been praying for Katie or one of her families under Holy Spirit's direction before I even knew of her. A little divine connection for today.

Needless to say, I highly recommend this book.

Joy in the Eyes

Photo Credit: McKenna Walker

I didnt think I would be blogging today but I am feeling better and what else is there to do but read, rest and blog?

This is a two-for-one day, using the same photo for Wings Open.

I love this photo! I was trying to put Lily's mitten back on for the umpteenth time and she looked up at McKenna - right in the eye and the camera lens. :)  

Eye contact is a big moment to celebrate and we do every single time. It seems each day this improves and brings us great joy. 

The simple things we used to take for granted are daily blessings. Like this morning when Lily held up her toy horse, one of many, and said horse several times. 

"Yay, Lily." Our chorus with clapping of hands.

Or when she pretended to shiver with cold, turning back and forth from her mother to me, looking us right in the eye and smiling as we celebrated. 

Yes, Lily is teaching me a new level of Eucharisteo. It seems I will never stop learning this principle.

Happy Sheets

I thought for sure I would avoid it. All the girls were healthy when I arrived, but no. I am in my daughter's bed with the flu. Silver lining= her sheets make me think of spring. May be off the blog for a bit while recovering. Just taking a settled moment to let you all know.

Snow Day

Delighted in Baby Steps

He will take great delight in you. Zephaniah 3:17

A couple of days ago I commented on the first lines of this verse, my memory scripture for the week. Today I am resting on this section. 

While I was digging into the meaning of each word, I came across two word meanings for the Hebrew in Strongs Concordance - blithe and glee. So I looked up those two words in the dictionary.

blithe = happy, light-hearted character

glee = high-spirited joy, merriment

I wrote in my journal, "I cannot fathom this."

Who can fathom the Mighty, Champion, Huge God clapping his hands in merry delight over them? How can I picture such a thing?

Then I remembered an incident this morning that happened with Lily. We were trying to get her to repeat e-i-e-i-o from Old McDonald had a farm, which she had uttered the day before. Her litttle face brightened with recognition but she couldn't seem to get the sounds to come out. So she started to do her mmm sound for moo and continued a litany of animal sounds, while we clapped our hands in delight at each one. What a celebration!

This is the picture of Zephaniah 3:17. God takes delight in me, not when I am performing great acts of service necessarily, but in the little everyday steps I take that only He and I know are huge. Baby steps when leaps are too much for me.

Back to the Zoo

I am back with my girls and the animals :)

Memory Verse for the Week

This is only a part of my memory verse for the week.

The LORD your God -
Lord is all capital letters and Beth Moore has taught me this is the word Yahweh. Jewish people wouldn't even speak it aloud for its power and holiness.

In the midst-
In Strongs concordance, this word means near to the center, to the closest part

Mighty-
Strong, powerful, warrior, giant, champion

To save-
To be open, wide or free, safe
To free, deliver, get victory

Pondering this much as I travel today.



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Un-Mended

 The hot glue gun lay unopened in the package.

         “You can’t.”

There must be a way. I stared at the broken pieces laying on the table.  I must be tired. There has to be a way.

         “You can’t”

 In the first chapter of Mended Angie tells the story of her broken pitcher and the process by which God brought healing as she glued it back together. A friend of mine read the book and broke her own pitcher, then glued it back together while God showed her special things, personally and for the Body of Christ.

I knew this was something I wanted to do in my week at home as a sort of milestone. I chose a plate rather than a pitcher under the nudge of Holy Spirit and set it aside. I had purchased the plate on one of my trips to New Mexico, carefully swaddling it in bubble wrap for the trip home. It was thick pottery with southwestern flair and a butterfly in the center.

The morning of my "pitcher" day, I woke up exhausted. Opening the Msg Bible, I turned to where I had been reading in the Psalms. Psalm 18:20 reads "God made my life complete when I placed all the pieces before Him." As I read, I knew this was the day. After taking a photo of the whole plate, I placed it in a plastic baggie, and then doubled it in a regular Target shopping bag. As I stepped out the door, I found the weather unusually warm and rainy. Snow had melted away from the cement ridge around our stone terrace to the right of the house entrance.  

I threw the bag down on the cement.

         “Again.”

I threw it again and sensing I needed to, a third time. When I opened the bag, there were several large pieces remaining among smaller pieces and fragments with powder. I took more photos and lay the pieces out on my workspace. Then I knew. 

I wont be able to put this back together again.

That can’t be true. I must be wimpy. I pieced what I could of the butterfly together, but the pieces had thick layers. Only two of them fit evenly.

         “You can’t.”

I can’t. I can’t put this back together. This wasn’t the way the exercise was supposed to go. I would glue the pieces together, healing would flow and I would have this great story to write about on my blog. I would be mended or at the very least, this would be a marker for moving forward.

         

I must have chosen the wrong vessel.

         “No, I chose it.”

I looked back at my verse.

God made my life complete when I placed all the pieces before him.

It didn’t say anything about me putting them back together.

Gathering the small pieces and fragments, I placed them in a mason jar and left the large pieces on the table.

Here are the pieces Lord - all the broken pieces, my health issues, my husband’s new health problem, our business, our family, and our future. I give them to you.

         

There was no rush of peace, nothing, just silence. 

Two days later the pieces are right where I left them. 

to be continued ...

Book Recommendation

Tears ran down my cheeks as I finished this book. I laughed and cried in my journey through the story.

How far we have come in the early recognition of autism and treatment! Yet even as familiar as the word is in our country, I didn't realize what it really meant to have a child with this diagnosis until I moved in with my daughter and experienced autism personally with our precious Lilybear.

I am grateful for a pediatrician who recognized the early signs and a daughter with great courage.

Lily starts her new program tomorrow for a couple of hours. We know this will be an adjustment for her, but after reading of Emily Colson's struggles to even find a place of help for Max, I am immensely grateful.

Although Max's autism is severe and Lily's much less so, this story resonated with my heart. It is a story of compassion, courage and hope, all the qualities that I have witnessed in my girl's lives and I pray will be seen in my own.


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A Prayer for Robert

As I pushed the stroller up the walk, a familiar sight kept catching my eye- the flag on the corner store. I kept wondering why my eyes seemed pulled toward it. Then I remembered. My word for this year is OPEN. I snapped the pic quickly, one hand on the stroller, one on my camera as we rounded the corner.

Today a few weeks later, I was sitting in an empty waiting room. Dr. Phil was the only voice in the room, emanating from the television and I was trying to tune him out to read my book. A man in a red jacket added to my annoyance when, leaning on his cane, he entered the room and made a couple of comments about the show. I smiled and kept reading until he sank into his chair and said, "I know because my wife left me."

He went on to tell me his story, adding that six years later he still wakes up in the night with the ache in his heart.

"I will never be able to forgive her,"he said without bitterness.

By now, my book was closed on my lap but my heart was open. As he related some of his journey, I silently prayed that God would help me to really hear this man. 

"You never know what people are going through, " he said.

"I know," I replied.

I spoke a couple of sentences sharing a tiny fragment of my journey these past five months. I told him how every day I prayed for God's forgiveness to flow through my heart toward the person who had hurt my family so. I shared how I knew the impossiblity of this outside of God.

The door opened and the nurse entered, ready for him.

"What is your first name , sir? I asked.

"Robert,"he replied. "It's Robert."

"Robert, I will be praying for you and your family.

"Thank you,"he said and left.

I was still waiting for my husband when Robert returned. His son had arrived to take him home. By now, the waiting room was packed with people. Before leaving, Robert turned in my direction, smiled with a little nod of the head.

There was a time that my book would have remained open, clearly signaling my discomfort in the start of the conversation. But not today. I felt the gentle nudge of the Holy Spirit to open my ears and my heart.

Perhaps in a week or two, I will forget all about this man and his problems in the light of my life's circumstances. Today I have been saying a prayer for Robert.

Landmark View

When I came home a week ago, I expected to return to my daughter's home by today. Plans changed when she and her girls came down with a serious flu virus. Therefore I am at home an extra week.

 Yesterday hubby and I went for a drive. We were both weary but felt the need to get out for a bit and I wanted some pictures for my blog. My initial excitement faded as mile upon mile of dirty snowbanks, barren white fields and dreary skies filled my camera lens. A few back roads rendered cool barn pics, 

which I will post on Wings Open this week.

Mars Hill mountain marks my journey, assuring me that I am nearly home each time I travel north. There has been much controversy the past few years over the windmills that now mar its beauty, depending on your point of view. Familiar sights take on new meaning through the lens of a camera or the filter of life changes.

Forgive that this was taken through a dirty car window, thus the smear.

Winter Weary

I thought maybe I would get some writing done this week while at home or photos printed out, but alas the winter weariness bug has caught up with me.
That's what I am calling it. I feel so bad for my girls, two of whom came down with the flu right after I left. Being weary is no big deal compared to that!

I have accomplished a lot in the billing, taxes, paperwork department so no complaints.

Today was the first time I ventured out for lunch since my hospital stay in December. Mom and I had a nice time, she with steak, me with salad:)

That's a little glimpse into life here in the County this week. Many are complaining about the unending cloudiness, but we are not in the midst of a blizzard, which is saying something. Silver linings.

I know this is not exactly an exciting post, but it is March after all!

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Through the Fire

When everything does not look like you thought remember you are not alone.

Check out this video on YouTube- Through the Fire and be encouraged.




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Back in the County