Little Girl

I watch as she emerges from the building walking slowly across the lot, unguarded for a moment. Sixteen years fall away in seconds unveiling the little girl within, a bit lost and vulnerable.

In the short time it takes for her to reach the car, pictures flash through my mind - the moment she was born and we knew what her name was to be, a two-year old dancing around the house with curls bouncing, our drama queen throughout the years...

I wish I could take her up in my arms and kiss the hurts away, protect her from life with all it's harsh realities.

She looks up and sees me. A smile crosses her face. The car door opens...she is sixteen again. We drive away chatting about her day.

But I remember.






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Thrift Store Treasure

Our search was for a table and chair set for Lily, who has decided she is done eating in a high chair. Our first visit to "Growing Place", a second-hand shop for babies and mamas and all gals in between turned up a few treasures. Baby Einstein videos, a couple cute sweaters, and a book were among them.

It was Lily herself that found the best treasure of all. Her eyes lit up and she pointed toward a shelf taller than she and began to make horse noises. I pulled down the wooden rocking horse and she fell in love.

Each day I am learning to watch for the little miracles, which hold hope and light in painful days.

I am pondering how I had become so comfortable in my life that gratitude could slip away so easily. Or that I could dismiss another's pain while buried in my own thoughts.

I have seen the results of ingratitude and self-centeredness in one's life and what it may lead to, if untended. Therefore, I must ask the hard questions of myself.

I don't have the emotional fortitude to hear the answers right now. It is enough to know they are waiting for me.






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Shadows and Light

Thanksgiving

Follow Me.

These are the words of Christ as he called his disciples.

Much of my life, following Christ was tied together with being an active church attendee. Always though, God would draw me back to His side, quietly reminding me that He loves spending time with me alone, away from the crowd.

Today church seems far away. Some days, God does too, if I am honest. Yet all the years of hiding His words in my heart hold me from breaking, send glimmers of hope my way when it seems darkest.

My list of thankfulness for right now is short, but deeply felt:

1. The Hope of God's Word.

2. My family- especially my daughter and her girls who have brought so much joy to me, no matter their pain.

3. True friends who keep me covered in daily prayer and encouragement.

4. My health and strength for each new day

5. Sunshine - I know this may sound shallow, but it really helps in valley seasons

6. My Blogging community

7. Books written by people who don't even know me, yet have touched my life.

Happy Thanksgiving







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Over the Weekend

 









and this morning...


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Comfort Food

Just when we think we've come through the worst, another wave hits. Today is a waiting day. There is nothing left to do.

A pocket of joy= a visit to the library = comfort food

I don't need another book. My Kindle is full of freebies, Christian fiction, non- fiction, devotionals...

I am reading snatches from Jerry Bridges "Trusting God", Streams of Living Water for the Thirsty Soul, Psalms in the Passion Translation, and Jody Hedlund's "Preacher's Bride." I just finished "Spiritual Warfare for Women" and am nearly done Kelly Minter's "No Other Gods." All of this in small increments of time and most were free.

If I never read the books I borrowed today, the experience of entering another focus for a time was worth it.






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Wells of Hope

It has been nearly a year since I happened upon One Thousand Gifts. I continue to incorporate eucharisteo, giving thanks intentionally.

We are each practicing the hard eucharisteo these days - hubby, daughter, and me.

I have been living away from home nearly a month now. Each morning as I drive from my sister-in-law's home to my daughter's place, I spend the twenty minutes in prayer, receiving grace for the day.

This morning as I drove across the bridge, I sooo wanted to take a picture of it shrouded in fog. Of course, I was driving in that fog, so focus was needed. No stopping for photo shoots.☺

Life these days is like crossing that bridge. Some days the fog of pain overshadows my girls as they navigate through broken places, striving to find a new normal. There is no temptation to take a snapshot for the heartache is too great.

Yet many moments of joy invade and heal- when Lily smiles, when McKenna makes me laugh, when Amber hears hope from the voice of God.

Angie Smith has a chapter in her book, "What Women Fear", about Hagar and the moment God opened her eyes to see the well He had placed in her life. I have been asking God daily to open my eyes to the wells around me.

There is a well beside you today. Ask Jesus to lift the discouragement from your heart that your eyes may see and you may drink deeply. He is waiting.

Daily Mantra of Courage

My word for each day in November: "This is not that day."

Everyday that I am tempted to lose heart or focus on the fears that circumstances may cause, my response is "this is not that day."

I leave you with this thought for the weekend.

November: Call for Courage

Three weeks ago, life changed for me.

After twelve years of marriage, my son-in-law decided to leave my precious girls. Two weeks later, Lily was diagnosed with autism.

Because this is my daughter's story, I will leave it to her to tell eventually. Yet we are intertwined for it has become my story too.

I am here now, caring for Lily and bringing encouragement and much prayer over their lives.

I thought about taking a break from blogging but I have witnessed many courageous women share their stories, imparting hope to others through their blogs.

Thus today I return to blogging in honor of my three courageous girls:
Amber, McKenna, and Lily.

Over this month, feel free to share your stories of courage. Link them here in the comments.





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