Monday, February 28, 2011

A Two-Post Day

I am having a twinge of guilt and a tiny stirring of hope.

The Guilt: I posted briefly this morning to get it out of the way, not with any real thanksgiving.

Hope: I read Ann's Blog this morning. (Button at the side) I saw all the women who had taken the time to really bare their souls and give thanks, to practice eucharisteo. I thought maybe I can muster up the energy for this today.

I have been battling discouragement over my health. None of my issues are life-threatening, but chronic joy-stealers.
I was sitting quietly a few days ago, praying, feeling desperation.

I am in a maze made of hedges all around. Just when I think I find my way out, it becomes another dead end.
Frustrated, exhausted, back at square one, I sink to the ground.

"I can't find my way out, Lord. You will have to come to me. Come and find me Lord"

He comes and stands here, inside my little circle, saying nothing.

Are you still standing here, Lord? Today?

Eucharisteo. Real giving of thanks in the pain of delay, of unanswered prayers.

My word for this year: Disencumber.

less talk
weeding out
emptying

My daughter is taking old suitcases and transforming them into treasures. She did this one for me a few years ago. I keep past writings in it and hope that I will return every now and then to write again.

Can my ordinary, everyday life with all it's worn spots, bumpy places and unbelief be transformed into a vessel to carry treasure?

Is Eucharisteo a way through the maze?

I stand still and wait.

Placing my faint hope in the Promiser.

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